Scars
Scars
Do you know that sometimes scars induce pain?
Sometimes, even when a deep wound is healed & healthy,
The scar tissue constricts & can make you think the wound is there again.
But, it’s not.
You look down & there is no blood.
No broken skin.
No exposed wound.
Just history.
A reminder of deep, deep pain.
I know of this pain.
A sharp pain that knocks my breath away at times.
The scar tissue constricts,
I rush to its aid with bandages & ointment.
And then.
I realize.
None of that is needed.
I am healed of this.
And the pain subsides.
It’s a wave.
A dance.
In & out.
In & out.
I hurt.
I heal.
I hurt.
I heal.
Poem by: Elizabeth Kier
I wrote this poem back in March, just before quarantine & all the craziness of 2020 hit. I felt my scars pain so deeply. I hurt so bad. And then I recovered & remembered the wound was healed.
Recently, that same old wound came up again. And this time it took me a little longer to recover from.
Just the other day, I went to my local heath food store and bought a homeopathic that she recommended called “Emotional Detox”. We discussed how things can trigger us that wouldn’t trigger other people because we have our own, unique accumulated trauma that stays in our body. So when we see something that reminds us of it (consciously or subconsciously), we are triggered and experience raw emotions that others around us might not be bothered by at all. We all have trauma. We all have accumulated stress that stays in our body unless we work very hard to thoroughly move it and continually cleanse it out of our system.
These times have been digging up past traumas for a lot of us, it seems.
I can only imagine the triggers our Black Sisters are having to deal with currently, for one example. Or the Sister that was stuck at home during lockdown that battled with mental illness already. Or just everyday life stuff like being dumped and feeling low self worth because of past traumas.
We ALL have shit. We all have wounds to heal. We all have wounds that have been healed that still keep coming back up.
This year is here for us to do the inner work. This year is here with a huge banner waking us up, calling us to action. And sometimes that action is just resting on our couch with a nourishing hot cup of tea and reminding ourselves we don’t need to do a single thing.
We all have different ways to heal. For me, I’ve had to slow down. I had to disengage with social media, take care of my body, sleep more, do less, and connect more. I have walked around in a haze for weeks.
The fog is finally beginning to lift and I am feeling some fresh air again.
Why am I sharing all of this? Because I want us to remember that we all are going through a hard time. We all need extra care & compassion towards each other right now. And we all have to take care of ourselves first.
We have so many modalities available to us to work through past traumas. Mindfulness, meditation, breathwork, therapy, journaling, nature, homeopathic, acupuncture, prayer....the list could go on & on. But we must pick something. We must not give up and let our traumas become stagnant in our bodies. Continue to move it. Continue to release. It will look different for each of us and that’s ok.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
As I take care of myself, one thing you will see different is that I will not be stating a specific day to release the blog. I need to feel the freedom to write when inspired, not when time tells me I must. So, I am honoring myself and allowing it to flow when it flows.
What about you?
Do you have emotions coming up strongly because of triggers? Are your past traumas aching as if they were a fresh, raw wound? If so, how are you taking care of yourself? What will you do today to honor yourself and love on yourself?
And are you looking out for others with love and compassion? Are you taking action to care for others when their wounds show up?
Dear Sister. You are so loved. You are doing good work. It’s ok to hurt. It’s ok to be ok. It’s ok to do nothing. It’s ok to be doing it all. Just keep up whatever work you need to care for yourself & for others. I pledge to do the same with you. I have my stuff to deal with right alongside you. We are all on a journey. We are all human. We are all growing, learning, & expanding.
We hurt. We heal. We hurt. We heal. And so we carry on.
